ZiPhone 3.0 PWNS, Using Secret Code

You've all been waiting for a BIG THING. Well I've got one. It's big. It's mine. It's all your dreams come true. Even the ones you never knew. But I know. Because I know you.

I'm about to release ZiPhone 3.0. It's all new and based on my new ZiCode. It has so much power that I've had to hide most of the features. As well as further obfuscate my code. Most people didn't understand my code anyway, but this makes no sense to anyone at all. Even AFTER you decrypt it! Translating it into English or Italian will not help either. Only a ROT13, performed 13 times can help you now. But only for very small clues. The rest can only be understood by the powerful Zoogle NonSense server, which took weeks to build, making it an ancient, unsolvable mystery to me now.

Go ahead. Get your iPhones and your wallets out. I'm going to make more bricks, and you're going to stop holding those donations.

Namaste