Wednesday, April 9, 2008

My Perfect NonSense Code

I have achieved the one-ness and perfection of Namaste! My two beautiful girlfriends, that you can see here, are in love with my newest product. The Zoogle NonSense server is finally here!

I have a new l33t team, and an amazing new website that is so good, it doesn't even need pictures on it! You can join too. Coding skillZ are not required. Speaking in full sentences is not required. Bathing, brushing your teeth, or washing your clothes is also not required. All you have to do is be my mindless minion and worship the ground I walk on. That will be easy for you, because I'm so great!

Now the surprise is revealed! For the source to my greatness, go look at my new site.


Sunday, March 30, 2008

ZiPhone 3.0 PWNS, Using Secret Code

You've all been waiting for a BIG THING. Well I've got one. It's big. It's mine. It's all your dreams come true. Even the ones you never knew. But I know. Because I know you.

I'm about to release ZiPhone 3.0. It's all new and based on my new ZiCode. It has so much power that I've had to hide most of the features. As well as further obfuscate my code. Most people didn't understand my code anyway, but this makes no sense to anyone at all. Even AFTER you decrypt it! Translating it into English or Italian will not help either. Only a ROT13, performed 13 times can help you now. But only for very small clues. The rest can only be understood by the powerful Zoogle NonSense server, which took weeks to build, making it an ancient, unsolvable mystery to me now.

Go ahead. Get your iPhones and your wallets out. I'm going to make more bricks, and you're going to stop holding those donations.


Friday, March 21, 2008

I Found My Monies

Thanks for worrying about me so much, and for all those deposits into my Swiss bank account. As soon as I figure out how to dual boot my brain, I can recover the password Jason stole, and get my millionz.

The problem with Google was all their fault. They gave bad informations on Wikipedia, about charitable causes. I know that's what I am, and that's why I deserve those public service announcements. Just because my site is Made For Adsense doesn't make all those clicks made by the ZiBot invalid. That's just BULLSHITS! Those clicks are generated whenever someone is kicked from my channel. That's perfectly valid!

It's going to be so easy to PWN Google! I'm even using their own search engine against them. I know all about AdSense already. Now I'm working on Common Sense, Sense and Sensibility, and all the other Senses. My final and ultimate PWN will be NonSense! It's a brand new search engine that re-directs all traffic to my blog, and makes you donate until you quit the browser.  Until it's ready, stop holding your donations, and send me something off Zibri's Amazon Wishlist

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Don't Hold Those Donations!

I've been so busy counting my money, I've had no time to blog. Nevermind that hiccup with Interpol and my PayPal account. It turns out I was innocent. All I had to do was frame that stupid guy, Jason. He deserved it, for having such a cute girlfriend, right? You're going to be thrilled, I tell you. Thrilled! Why? Because you can finally stop being desperate and holding those donations.

All your money may now be wired to me. No more PayPal bullshits! Just send it directly to my numbered Swiss bank account. Name of recipient can be left blank, of course. That's how I left Jason's memory after I made my deposit (he'll never know). Details are as follows:

Bank Leu (AG) in Zurich
Bahnhofstrasse 32
Z├╝rich CH-8022
Tel: 01 219 11 11 Fax: 01 219 31 97
Account No: CH80 0506 50A1 0256 0288 1

You're thrilled aren't you? I know you love me. Now you can show me how much, in the currency of your choice.  :-P

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Big Z Is Watching You


To my fellow brothers and minions. It has come to my attention that many are not familiar with our Zilosophy and require re-education. The Ministries are working hard on this monumental task. Here are a few of the actions being taken.

1) The Ministry of Truth shall issue a memo with the following message: "We have always been at war with the East. All great code was written by Zibri (even if it wasn't). The Dev Team has always stolen Zibri's work (even if they didn't)."
2) The Ministry of Peace shall continue adding new banwords, such as iPlus, to the ZiBot, to prevent uprisings and insurrections. Anyone inciting the minions on IRC to use iPlus shall be kicked or killed, then arrested. Winston Smith shall be revising our earlier list.
3) The Ministry of Love shall employ the Thought Police as spies to uproot anyone remotely considering the use of iPlus. Those found guilty of thoughtcrime shall be taken to Room 101 and have their faces chewed off by rabid zebras if they do not recant. All must accept Big Z as their only love, or die.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

iSteal iSolitaire, iBlackjack, iEverything

I love beautiful things. They remind me of myself. Especially wiggly icons and little cards on screens that wiggle as if on speed. Wheeeeeeeee! But most importantly, I enjoy not paying for those beautiful things. Why should I pay? I invented the idea of wiggling and wishywashing. People should pay ME. Why? Because I work very hard at stealing (almost as hard as I work trying to get donations). Just like today, when I gave my #ziphone channel members my h4x0r3d copy of iBlackjack.

You don't think I stole it? Read my lips! err, my log:

[12:13] hey Zibri
[12:13] <zibri> so..
[12:13] <bart> can you tell geeb please
[12:13] <worldcup82> hi zibri
[12:13] <zibri> look what i have "found":
[12:13] <bart> Zibri today i was going to 1.1.4 then jailbreak only my iphone it works perfect with 2.5c
[12:14] <bart> so whats the problem all ppl say not take 2.5c with 1.1.4
[12:14] <zibri> the author of that program did something i didn't like at all: he put a donate button in the program.. but he also put a hidden expiration... now he will seel it on itunes..
09:14] <zibri> i liked that program so much i was really going to donate
[12:14] <zibri> fortunately I didn't do it
[12:14] <worldcup82> hmm thats not nice
[12:14] <bart> hehe
[12:14] <bart> why
[12:15] <worldcup82> because hes selling out
[12:15] <zibri> and now "someone" removed the expiratuion... what a coincidence! i wonder who was that someone :D

Someone better go tell that guy at that he'll be PWN'd next!

Friday, March 7, 2008

Zustice! The Code To End All Code

Sorry to my fans for being so quiet on my IRC server lately. I've been busy working on the ZDK with Bill. But I finally got that C++ book that charlie_the_unicorn recommended. I thought a book called "C++ for Dummies" had to be hard, but the first chapter was a piece of cake! I didn't even need to write "hello world" or anything. Just a few hard commands like ctrl-C and ctrl-V. Dude! I PWNED it!

This work should end all arguments about my brilliance. About my great ability to steal good code when I see it, and modify it quickly for my evil ways. That'll teach that stupid Zf_  guy to stop posting on those hackint0sh forums! Like I always say, "No credit shall be given, even when credit is due."